Labor & Delivery

I can see why people slow way down in their blogging when they have a baby. The days pass by so fast. I can literally just hold Evan and stare at him all day long and before I know it, its almost (normal people's) bedtime. But if I don't start keeping up with his journal now I won't do it and I'll be mad at myself later :)

We arrived at the hospital at 7am on Friday, January 16th. Pitocin was started at 9am. Mike & I began a round of 10,000 and my sister and Mom got there at around 11. The contractions began to increase in intensity...and at each check I was sure I'd be more dilated but I was stuck at a 2 for quite some time. At noon the contractions became painful, and by 1:00 I was dilated to 3 and was welcoming an epidural. Dr. F came in and asked if I could wait until I was at 4. Sure I could, gosh this is the end of such a long hard road I would do anything if it meant it was best for E. So that next hour was a bit rough. Mike would tell me when the contractions began to come down but for the most part I was in my own little world. At 2:00 I was "barely" a 4. But barely was good enough - I got an epidural and ahhh, heaven.

The epidural went smoothly - the nurse had a very soothing voice that helped a lot when my contractions came and I had to hold real still. Shortly after I couldn't even feel any contractions. It was fabulous. A few hours later I began feeling them in my back. Not horrible, but enough to make me worry that it was wearing off. They checked me again at 8 and I was at 8! We were so surprised things had progressed so quickly and things became real. I began pushing at 9:45 - Dr. F came at 10 and from 10-11:09 things were intense. They turned off my epidural so I could push more effectively. Mike was by my head and would ask if I was ready then would count loudly in my ear while I pushed, Dr. F would cheer me on loudly at the foot of my bed and tell me when I was pushing well and when I needed to change my method. There was some talk that he was having a hard time getting through and needed to get under my bone. Around 11 I could tell things were happening - the air in the room was so intense, I sensed such a strong sense of excitement and nervousness. I saw "the bucket" being prepared, Mike was very pale - my Mom and sister were off to the side, and Dr. F was yelling and yelling. Between Mike and Dr. F they were the best coaches I could ever ask for, they are what made me push through the pain and give 110% the whole time. All of the sudden I was no longer pushing when contractions came - it was nonstop pushing, breathe breathe push - and again and again and again...for what seemed like a long time.

I opened my eyes and heard the best sound I've ever heard in my life - Evan's cry. There he was - breathing, crying, outside of me - there was our baby - the soul that fought so hard to come into this world. The baby that we have created, the being that I have loved so much since I saw him in me as an embryo. I can't even describe what that moment felt like. To say it was amazing is an understatement. I do not remember Mike cutting the cord or the next few minutes after that - I just remember THAT moment. It seemed like forever from when he was brought to his little area to the time I first got to hold him. I was bleeding a lot, and getting stitched up - apparently the bleeding was hard to stop and I lost a lot of blood. I have 3 layers of stitches. I could see my sweet baby boy vaguely but the thing that sticks out most in my mind during that time is Mike. He stood by Evan staring at him in pure amazement and would look across the room at me and smile. By his smile I knew that Evan was okay - this moment we have been worried about for so long is over. All the questions in our mind are answered - our baby is okay and he is a normal healthy boy. Dr. F had called a neonatologist who came from home in his pj's which was hilarious. After thoroughly examining him he said "why am I here, this baby is perfectly healthy". He made sure he came over to my bedside to tell me directly that Evan is healthy and wonderful. When I finally got to hold him almost an hour later I just couldn't get over how perfect he was. I still can't really. He opened his eyes and looked at me and I lost it.

My dream has come true, I am a Mommy.

The days leading up to my induction I was constantly wondering what MY labor & delivery experience would be like - and wow it was perfect - every part of it. The whole day Mike had the radio on softly through his laptop. The room was quiet, and it was only Mike, my sister, and my Mom. Everyone was so supportive and awesome. Mike was amazing. The only thing during this whole pregnancy that happened according to my plan. I realize very few people get to experience this and I am blessed. To go through this experience is a blessing in itself, but to have it go exactly how you wanted it to is even more amazing. After I got to hold Evan the room fell silent and it was just the 3 of us. Our new family of 3. Evan latched on and nursed like a pro. Our families came in a little after midnight to meet him for about 10 minutes. We all cried. Well, my family I mean. Even my Dad. This long long journey is over and was so worth it to receive this miracle. He was worth every second of bed rest and worry and all the tears and fear and the marital stress we endured and and and...ALL worth it. I am the luckiest person in the world. Life does not get any better than this.

Absolutely amazing

EVAN MICHAEL is here & he is healthy, perfect, and absolutely amazing!!!!!!!!!!!

1/16/09 11:09pm

7#15oz. 19.5 inches long

We know when Evan's BIRTHday will be!!!

All I can keep thinking is oh my gosh! Our original induction date was 39 weeks- Jan. 23rd, next Friday. Well, how quickly things change - at Monday's NST Evan's baseline heart rate was above his normal. I was concerned and asked about it, but the Dr. said he was was reactive and then the did a fluid check and took a peek at him. He was doing well, moving his little fingers around which was adorable and so amazing to see. It was so cool - Dr. F, his nurse who is also GREAT, and I sat there for several minutes just watching him and checking out what he was doing in there. Later that night, right after the Bachelor started, Dr. F. called me and said he had been thinking about the baby's elevated heart rate and talked to Dr. M about it and for me to go to the hospital Tues. morning for an NST to see how he is, just to be safe. I can't say it enough - he is the best Dr. and I love him so much. He also said he's tentatively writing me in to be induced THIS Friday. I got off the phone and started crying and ran (well the almost 38 wks pg bed rest version of running) into Mike and told him the scoop. We both went into "holy crap" mode. We finished watching the rest of our birthing videos and then I finished packing our bag and Mike went into speed mode getting some last minute things done around here. Our similar experiences ended there though - Mike passed right out and I laid there for hours and hours and hours. Finally fell asleep at around 5:30 and got up at 7. The L&D nurse said Evan looked great on his NST Tuesday morning, heart rate still slightly above normal, but not as much as the day before. They did another fluid check and said it was ok - it looked like much less to me though. I have a hard time telling the difference between discharge and fluid leakage, I just know in the past week there have been changes. I was SO excited to talk to him today to find out if B day would be this Friday or next. Had a BPP today and baby looks good and fluid is still in the ok range, but on the lowest end of the spectrum which he is not comfortable with. I am no ultrasound tech but I could really tell a difference. Dropped from 10.5 last week to almost 7 this week. SO - that leads us to the present, we go Friday morning at 7am to be induced! I'm so happy that the Dr. feels like I do - we know he is okay so let's get him out! OH and what is also so exciting is that I am finger tip dilated and 80% effaced now! Monday I was still 40% effaced and cervix was still closed. He's hoping they break my water and give a little potocin (sp?) and that my body kicks into labor. I've been sitting here all day not knowing what to do with myself. What will MY labor & delivery story be like?! Will he be okay? What will he look like? So many thoughts racing through my head. I feel like there should be a ton to do but there really isn't - we are ready. I'm still super crampy today so I'm hoping by Friday morning my cervix will change even more. Maybe I'll be at almost 4 and then can get an epidural stat. haha...of course that's my own little dream world!

Random thoughts on making it to FULL TERM!

WOW! What an exciting day yesterday was, I was just giddy all day long - 37 weeks! Evan is just amazing, I can't even believe how far we've come. If not sooner, in just 2 weeks from yesterday we will finally be meeting him. I constantly wonder how my labor will be, what will he look like, is this dream really truly coming true?!

My Dr. is away for the weekend. I met him at the hospital early yesterday morning for an NST, baby looks great and things are calm so we are both hoping he decides to wait until he comes back from his trip. He is literally the kindest, most caring person I have ever met and it wouldn't be the same without him delivering E and being there the whole time. I can't even describe him to people, to say he is a wonderful Dr. does not even begin to explain him.

I lost my mucus plug late Thursday night!!! It feels so good to know that my body is doing what it is supposed to. And I feel great - so so weird that after all these months my body finally "gets it". I'd rather late than never. These last few weeks have been wonderful. I just lay on the couch and watch my belly move and feel him roll around in there. He still gets the hiccups at least twice/day. I'm anxious to see if he still will often once he's out here! I am now 40% effaced, not sure if I documented that last time. I ventured up to the nursery the other day, a room that I rarely visit because seeing all the baby stuff scares me that something still may happen to him and my reality may change. But I allowed myself to stay in there for a little bit and dream. I am now to the point where I am picturing him in his coming home outfit, in his bouncy, his swing, and in my arms. I try to tell my mind it is okay to go there. It is very interesting how the mind works, even though you try to reassure yourself over and over it does not listen. I am big on inner self talk but I find that at times it does not work at all!

I have also been thinking about having my life back too. A new life. For the past almost year now I have been confined, on some sort of bed rest, and full of guilt if I stray even slightly from my restrictions. I will be part of the world again so soon. I have no doubt that once I meet him the fact that I put my life on hold for so long will mean absolutely nothing. I can't wait to go to the store, park as far as I can, and walk around for hours. Or to clean the house and be on my feet for hours doing a million things. I am sure it will take a while to "get back", and I am prepared for that, as much as I can be. I just hope after he arrives my body continues to get it and give me the freedom I need to be a normal person again. As good as I have felt these past couple of weeks, I still cannot stand for more than a few minutes without getting incredibly dizzy and having to sit down - I'm so hoping that bowel adhesion that is causing this will correct itself once my "innerds" get back to normal and all that weight is off that area. I have turned very emotional in the past week, I think because I'm letting this finally be real to me. I get teary-eyed several times daily just thinking about becoming a Mommy. I'm sure all soon to be Mom's go through this, but in the IF world it is intensified for sure. Lately daily I have been standing in front of the mirror just staring at my giant belly. Never before have I liked my body until now. It is just amazing and I can't think it or say it enough how amazing it is that our bodies can do this.